Life was....September 9, 2001

No I did not get my dates mixed up, yes you did read that right.  September 9, 2001.  Really without the events of September 11, 2001, the two days before would not have been as special of a day.

I was a new high school graduate attending my first ever CES (Church Education System) Fireside.  I was excited.  The world was wide open to me and I could do anything, even though that thought scared me to death.  Little did we know that the world as we knew it would change.  It was the big start of the year fireside which is usually done by someone in the First Presidency or the Quorum of the Twelve.  This particular fireside was given by President Gordon B. Hinckley.  The title of this talk is "Be Not Afraid, Only Believe".  Very  appropriate considering what was to come.  During the last year sometime, I was looking through some scripture journals and fireside journals and notes.  I didn't realize this at the time of 9-11, but having seen the notes I wrote.....WOW!!! Talk about listen to a prophets voice!!  The notes said "There will be hard times in the coming days, but it is not over!  It is not the end of the world.  As we hold close to the church and the gospel, we will not falter!!!"  And yes, my notes probably had A LOT more exclamation points and plenty of bold underlining.  Now, knowing what happened two days after this talk was given, reading through the words President Hinckley said, it is absolutely amazing and comforting knowing that the prophet knew something was coming and warned us about it.  Did we listen?

Some things I want to share from his talk.  He talks about learning and truth, that truth can come from any language, people or religion, and that we accept this truth, wherever it comes from, if it is truth.  He then goes on to talk about how negative the world is and makes a plea that we "stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight....that we look a little deeper for the good."  How we would need this in those next few days, and without knowing it, as a nation we did.  Were we angry and upset about those that had harmed us?  You bet!  But as a nation and a people, we looked to our neighbors for help and support.  We saw the better in people, because who knew when we would see them again.

My favorite part of this talk.  "There may be some lean days ahead for some of you.  There may be troubles.  None of us can avoid them all.  Do not despair.  Do not give up.  Look for the sunlight through the clouds."  I think this is where I wrote my note referenced above.  Such a powerful message by the one person who gets the inspiration to lead the world!  I don't know if President Hinckley knew exactly what was going to happen, but I have NO DOUBT that he knew something big was coming that would rock our world, and that it was coming soon!  The Prophet of the Lord was guiding us, warning us, giving us comfort before we ever even needed it! What a marvelous work!

Since my discovery this last year about the significance and timing of this talk, I have tried to more closely follow the counsels of the Prophets and truly listen to their words.  I know that they are being guided by our Father in Heaven who knows all, before it happens.  I love this gospel! I live this gospel and I love to live it! THE CHURCH IS TRUE!!!!

Here is the link to President Hinckley's talk.  A great read!
http://www.lds.org/broadcast/ces090901/transcript/0,11006,566,00.html

Life is...Vegas! Well....in a manner of speaking

So last weekend, I went to Vegas with a few friends.  Now when I say we went to Vegas, yes, we did spend some time on the strip...in the car...in traffic.  It was probably the worst hour of the trip.  No, when I go to Vegas, I go to the temple.  There are several things that I have learned from this temple specifically and it has become one of my favorites.  It also has a special place with my family as my great uncle (I think, my grandmothers' sisters' husband?) was the contractor for the temple, finished it, turned over the keys and passed away a few days later.  Kinda cool.

Now for the lessons.  Many moons ago, my family was on a vacation in St. George and decided to venture to Vegas. We went to the strip, not sure what we were thinking.  We went with another family, had 8 teenagers total.  Being Utah County sheltered, we were pretty freaked out.  After that, we decided to find the temple.  We got lost, naturally.  We stopped at Arby's to eat, and got directions.  I will never get lost going to the temple now. Find Bonanza Road, and you will find the temple.  It leads straight to it.  The beautiful part, is that as you stand  on the temple grounds, Bonanza Road is the only road that is outlined by lights, all the other lights are scattered.  Hence, you have the Iron Rod and the mists of darkness.  In the distance, you can see the buildings from the strip, the great and spacious building.  And lo and behold, in Vegas, you have Lehi's vision. Who'd'a thunk?!

Next lesson.  I realized this one as I did a Vegas trip by myself several months ago.  As I was leaving the temple, the lights and glitz and glam of the strip at night is quite a site to see. But in the light of day, driving along the freeway from a distance, it is all quite ugly and boring.  Most the buildings are the same brown/tan color.  Light bulb!  In the light of day, our habits or sins that seem so popular and glamorous at night are really not attractive.  Sometimes when we are in the heat of something, we need to step back and take a deep(better) look at what's really happening.

Light.  A lot of lessons are about light.  At night, if you know where to look, you can find the temple, but it isn't bright like a lot of the other temples you see.  There's enough bright lights in Vegas.  It's a different kind of light, one you have to be looking for.  It won't jump out at you, but it is more powerful than the "other lights" of Vegas, to those who know it's power.  A different kind of light, a different kind of beauty.  One from within. 

And then there's the trees.  I love the trees at the Las Vegas temple.  They talk back to you.  There are 3 different spots around the grounds, where there is a circle of bricks on the ground, and a semi-circle of trees with a cement bench in front of them.  As you stand in the very center of the bricks, and talk to the trees, they echo back to you.  Everyone I've taken and shown the trees doesn't believe me until they try it for themselves and they are always blown away.  The lesson on this one....? Well, there isn't one.  It's just one of those things that makes me love the Las Vegas temple.  Each time I go there, I get a "Christmas Eve" type feeling of excitement in seeing my "friends" the trees.

So, yes, I love going to Vegas, but for very different reasons that what Vegas is known for.  I know most of the world doesn't share the same opinion I do, but that's ok.  It's what makes me....well, me!

Life is.....Healing

One of the reasons why I started this blog was also to use it as a "scripture journal" and share some thoughts and wisdom I have learned over the years.  My last post about friends brought up a lot of emotions and some conversations that normally would have been like pouring salt into open wounds...but they didn't.  I have moved on from those frustrations and no longer hold grudges.  How did I do this? Well, I'll tell you....

Several years back, I was an angry person.  Most of the anger was directed at myself, I hadn't learned how to deal with things, people, frustrations, failures, frustrations about people....  I also had some issues that weren't allowing me to be internally (or eternally) happy.  I had a week that should have rocked my world involving the passing of my Grandpa.  I knew what was coming before the doctors said he didn't make it and I knew without help, I would be in trouble.  I didn't have the strength myself to handle it, like everything else that was just swept under the rug.  That is when I learned how true and real the atonement of Jesus Christ is.  When standing in the ER and watching my dad mouth the words "he didn't make it", I immediately felt a comforting assurance that it was ok, and I mouthed back "I know".  And I was ok with it! The love of our Savior had healed my heart before it broke.  For anyone that knows me, I am a blubber baby when it comes to family & saying goodbye, even if it's just for a week or two.  I cried when Grandpa left (who wouldn't?!), but I was under control and able to be a strength to others.  That is when I learned about the power to heal.

Since said experience, I have had many other instances come where I've needed to employ the same power.  Sometimes it works right away, sometimes I have to suffer a little, but it only gives me a greater appreciation and idea of what our Savior went through to be able to succor us.  I have also learned that the healing power goes beyond forgiveness, way beyond.  As I learned from my mom, it can also heal physical pain, aka headaches and migraines, which I've had well over my fair share.  I'm working on dealing with the emotions & stuff causing the headaches before they cause them.  Again, enter the atonement.  Let Him carry the burdens!  He already carried them in Gethsemane, don't let what He did go to waste.

Another thing I learned about healing and letting go, is you have to let it go! He can heal the hurt and the heartache, but if we keep bringing it up, it's our own stupid fault! Don't loathe in self pity! Get over it!  One of the last times I was home with my family, one of the brothers had a fire going in the backyard (his way of "dealing" with things).  I had decided that I was going to write down names or events of things I was still hanging on to and burn the list.  I did just that and even though it was cold & slightly raining, I stood there and watched that list burn.  Then I took a big breath and blew it out hard.  I immediately felt relief.  Those aching feelings that I had were lifted and I knew I could move on.  And I did.  I still think about some of those things, but I don't have any hard feelings towards those people or events.  I am a better person for what Jesus Christ has done for me and by claiming those blessings and right of the atonement.

Life is....friends

Friends.  Such a double edged sword sometimes.  Friends are sometimes more important than family, and other times you can't wait until they leave.  And there's so many varying degrees of "friends", from the BFF's to the once upon a time BFF's, to the 'ya, I kinda knew the kid'.  Believe me, I've experienced all kinds.

A few weeks ago, a girl in my ward was saying her "goodbyes" to the ward as she was moving back east to live a new life.  She was saying how she didn't feel sad about leaving because she didn't have any friends or anyone she would really miss when she left.  Oh sure, she was well known and had plenty of the "I knew them once" friends, but she said she regretted that she hadn't left an imprint with anyone and no one had with her either.  As I thought over the past several different friends I've had over the many years of my singleness, my moving to St. George had the same type of feel.  Only one or two friends I would actually miss.....maybe.

See part of my lack of friends is partially self-inflicted.  I'm a very shy person who doesn't go out of my way to make new friends.  Through the years I've also been very burned by people who I thought were very good friends.  Moving to St. George was a big move, and I have a few friends here, those who I'll go to dinner with once a week, maybe do something one other time during the week, but usually as a large group activity, ie, volleyball, sports....it's the only time I come slightly out of my shell.

This is not a "wo is me" post, more of a self-awareness one.  I don't really need friends.  The main one I have back home has proven to be a true friend, as she is just about the only one who still talks to me(heart you booty! Yes, her nickname is booty.).  Even then, I am perfectly comfortable hanging out with myself and Aaron Rodgers and Peyton Manning. (the last few months without them has been rough!)  Really, I've realized who my real best friends are.  They are John and Marianne, also known as Dad and Mom, Scott, Stefie, Mel, Ryan, Tom, Tony, little brother Nate, and baby McCoy, whose not so much a baby anymore.  Yep, Mom and Dad, 6 kids, 2 married-in's and one giant 2 year old nephew.  These are the ones who will always be my BFF's and won't burn me.  Even if they do, eternity is a long time for them to make it up to me!

The beginning

Well, this is it.  I've been thinking about doing a blog for some time now, but had several lame-sauce excuses for not doing so.  So, here we go!

Mostly I 've thought about doing a blog about different things I've learned in my life and just haven't had the opportunity to share them.  Things from life, church, life, work, friends....life!  I've always been one to shy away from "look at me" stuff, and this isn't meant to do that either.  Just needed an avenue to share things that I think might better someone, even if it's just me.  There may be some rants, but mostly those will just come out of frustration for people (including myself) not being better than they can be.  Those have been my usual frustrations of late.

So, a little about me.  I am LDS (Mormon) and proud of it!  It has shaped my life and made me who I am.  At times is it incredibly frustrating to live?! Sure is!  But I know the outcomes will be better if I live my life the way I should. 

Another thing about me that I am incredibly proud of, is that I'm the shortest member of my family.  And at 5'11" for a girl, that's pretty crazy.  Granted to me, it doesn't seem that tall, I've been that height since I was 13 and I'm surrounded by family that is taller.  My sister is about an inch taller than me and I have 4 brothers that range from 6'4" to 6'8".  And then my sister goes and marries a guy that's 6'10", or something ridiculous like that.  Yep, we're giants, and yes, we play basketball!

Actually, sports is kind of my life. I've played mostly basketball, but also volleyball, softball, tennis, and most recently golf.  Done a lot of sports, just not soccer.  I enjoy watching it, professional, but I'm not talented with my feet at all.  Don't dance, my form of "fancy footwork" is a layup or a volleyball approach.  I absolutely L-word football! Don't get me wrong, I like men, I just happen to be a girl that likes men and would be very happy to watch football for a date.

So here goes letting you into a little slice of my life.  Get some popcorn, it might be more entertaining to pick out those stinkin kernels than read some of these!